Online Dating Guide: How To Meet Quality Men On Online Dating Sites
Online dating is what this article is all about. More specifically, I’m going to talk about how to find great guys on internet dating sites like match.com, eHarmony, etc. There really are awesome guys on dating websites lots of them. The key is to weed out all the weirdos and fake profiles and hone in on the ones that are actually worth your time. Even if you’ve tried online dating in the past and it was a complete disaster I encourage you to give it another try. Except this time employ all the tips and suggestions, I’m about to talk about in this article.
Before I get into some of these little-known tips let’s first quickly review the advantages of online dating.
#1. Way More Options: You can find and meet way more guys. Offline you can meet guys at the bar, through mutual friends, at work, through a random encounter at the grocery store, at the gym, etc. But what if your Mr. Perfect lives on the other side of town? he doesn’t ever visit your gym or your favorite pub and doesn’t have any friends in common? By going online you’re able to access a whole lot more guys and you wouldn’t otherwise be able to meet or interact with.
#2. You Can Target Your Search: I’ve worked with some coaching clients who are only interested in dating men who share their religious beliefs. For example, in dating websites let you narrow your search to like-minded guys so you can join a site for Christians for instance and then you’ll know before you even meet a guy that he’s going to meet that criteria. There is weird niche dating sites out there too. Farmers only, for instance, is a site for single farmers or gluten-free singles if you’re looking to date some with celiac disease. There’s weird and ones too but I’ll leave those ones for you to find on your own.
#3. No Efford Need!: You don’t have to put in much effort. No need to get dolled up and hit the club to meet guys if you’re using a dating site. Once you create a good profile you can sit back and wait for a mint message you. Now that’s not always the best way to meet guys online but it’s definitely possible because there are way more men on dating websites than there are women.
#4. You Can Get Ready: You can do your homework before the first date. You know it sucks showing up for a blind date that your friends have set up only to discover that your date looks like a shabby balding troll with a personality to match. With online dating, you can at least chat with a guy and learn a bit about and before you agree to meet them in person. Which reduces that chance of a tragic first date.
Those are four of the biggest advantages of online dating, but there are also a few drawbacks. Most importantly personal safety. Much like the offline world, there are some creepy dudes with bad intentions on dating sites. So, you need to be careful not to disclose too many personal details and be cautious when you first meet in person. Follow basic safety stuff and then you’ll be fine.
The second drawback to online dating is actually same as one of the advantages I just talked about, you’ve got your choice of thousands of men online. That’s a good thing but, it’s also a bad thing if it leads you to be way too picky. So resist the temptation to delete messages from men who don’t exactly match your idea of the perfect guy. Scientists call this the tyranny of choice but I personally think it’s generally a good problem to have.
Alright, let’s move on and talk about some of the things you should do to maximize your chance of meeting your soul mate online. These are all the best practices and if you’re at all serious about using dating sites to meet guys then I strongly encourage you to put them into practice.
#1. Choose Your Website Wisely: As I mentioned there are hundreds of dating sites out there and some are better than others. Unless you’re only interested in dating farmers, guys, who do any glutton Catholics, etc. then I suggest you sign up for a couple of the biggest well known dating sites such as Match.com, eHarmony, and PlentyOfFish. Those sites usually have tons of male members who live in your area. Those matchmaking algorithms that some dating websites advertise are genuinely pretty useless. But they do have one advantage they weed out the creeps who are just looking to get laid because most of those losers are too lazy to spend an hour filling out questionnaires.
Similarly, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship and not just someone to hook up with then choose paid dating website rather than one of the free ones because anyone who’s willing to pay for a subscription is going to be a lot more serious about finding love online.
#2. Build A Great Profile: Writing a good profile isn’t as hard as you might imagine. First, choose the right photo. That means choosing a picture that’s flattering but not obviously unrealistic or prerogative. If you’re looking for a husband here ladies then your profile pic should not be 90% cleavage. It’s also never a bad idea to upload one or two photos of you with other good-looking guys, friends, exes, etc. This subtly conveys the message that your desirable and wanted by men and subconsciously makes you more attractive in the eyes of any guys looking at your profile. As for the actual profile itself don’t overthink things. It’s okay to leave out certain details that aren’t so flattering or to be a bit vague especially when it comes to personal details. But, don’t the outright line or profile write up. All that does is lead to awkward disappointing first dates, keep it brief highlight a few of your more attractive qualities without bragging and try to mix in a joke or amusing anecdote.
Write properly too – I’ve had several of my coaching clients complain about their lack of online dating success only to discover their profile looks like it was written by a five-year-old. Instead of making that mistake just use proper spelling in real sentences.
#3. Don’t Delete Messages: Don’t automatically delete all the random messages you receive on dating sites. Yes, I know it can be overwhelming to have 25 new messages arrive each day especially if most of them are absolute garbage. Scan your inbox for messages that look even remotely like a possibility and read the message and view the guy’s profile before you trash it. If you’d be a great catch for any man and I’m sure you would be then you’re bound to receive messages from normal quality men every and then.
#4. Put In Some Effort: I know I said that online dating takes almost no effort on your part but that’s not the best way to use dating websites. In fact, you’ll have even more success if you browse through profiles and reach out to guys that spark your interest. Don’t forget that online dating guide for men is totally different for guys. so unless a guy looks like Ryan Reynolds his inbox is going to be empty. By taking the initiative and reaching out to all the guys who meet your criteria, you’re almost guaranteed to get responses for most of the guys you contact. Don’t be picky when it comes to who you contact especially at first but that said do be careful anytime you see a profile that looks too good to be true. I hate to break it to you ladies but it’s only that someone with a Fitness Magazine physique claiming to be a brain surgeon and a philanthropist is really who he says he is. Don’t bother with any guys who profiles look fishy or too perfect.
#5. Exchange A Few Messages: Exchange few messages before you agree to meet in person. Don’t have a six-month pen pal relationship with a guy before your first date, because research has shown that too much talking before meeting a man is actually a bad thing. But you do want to get some basic info about the guy. Can you read and write like an adult? Does he have a job, a sense of humor, is he looking for a casual fling or a serious relationship? After you get a sense of the basic stuff if you’re still interested call and ask them to meet for coffee. The sooner you meet them in person the sooner you’ll be able to decide if he’s a waste of time or worthy of another date.
#6. Plan The First Date: Be smart when planning the first in-person meeting. First of all always insist on having your first date with a guy you meet online in a public setting. Meet for a coffee at Starbucks, a bar after work, go bowling, etc. This is a no-brainer for your own safety. Secondly, you want to make sure that you have an easy believable escape plan in case the data is a disaster. Meeting for coffee, for instance, doesn’t require you to commit to spending a couple of hours with the guy. Like going to a movie would, if things are going well you can drain a coffee date into a dinner date but you can also bail after 20 minutes and it won’t be weird.
Another excellent way to do this is to ask a friend to call you tender 15 minutes into the day. So if you need a way out you can pretend it’s your boss on the phone and say that as an excuse to bail early or if things are going well you can just completely ignore the call. Now, to be perfectly honest a lot of women can get to this point on their own much of the stuff I’ve just talked about is hardly rocket science but when it comes to a second date or turning a casual fling into a real relationship that’s where things go sour for a ton of women. Even really beautiful successful woman often struggles to get the man to commit or keeping guys from losing interest.